The Story of Van's Birth...9 weeks late...

I am going to finally write the story of Van's birth. This will probably end up being a long post so feel free to skip wherever you want...or not read it at all...if anyone even checks this blog anymore.

Van's due date was July 9. He didn't come on July 9. On Friday July 13 I called me doctor and told him that Van was not moving very much so he told me to go the hospital to get a non-stress test done to monitor Van's movements and if they were low then they would induce me. After that phone call I cried because I knew Van needed to come that day. I just had a gut feeling that he was not OK and needed to come out. I didn't understand why we were even wasting our time with the test and why they couldn't just induce me. Before I headed to the hospital for the test Meg, Jesse and I went to Village Inn and ate breakfast. They were trying to brighten my mood in case I was really not going to be induced that day because I was seriously a grumpy goose.

After breakfast we headed to the hospital and as we were checking in for the test the lady there said, "Your Doctor is on the phone right now. He said we should just admit you and induce labor now." Needless to say I was relieved. My gut instincts were right. It was time. They admitted me to my room and started me on IV antibiotics. I am Strep-B positive and as many of you out there know that can be fatal to babies if their mothers aren't given antibiotics before birth. They started me on antibiotics and a slow drip of Petocin (spelling?).

My labor started to progress slowly but surely and after 8 hours they bumped the dosage up and broke my water. I figured we were well on our way at that point but man was I wrong. After 18 hours of labor I was finally fully effaced and dilated. They said I should start pushing. Again, I thought that this wouldn't be longer than an hour of two...but again, I was very wrong.

After 4 1/2 hours of hard pushing my doctor finally said "We are going to use the vacuum twice. If he doesn't come out with that then we will push him back up and do a C-Section." At this point Jesse gave me a blessing that said Van was not supposed to come out via C-Section. That he and I would both recover fully and we would be strong. I was a little scared when it said that we would "both recover fully" but we just pushed forward.

I also need to say here that during my entire labor Van was showing NO signs of distress. He and I were both progressing normally. The only reason why they decided to use the vacuum was because I was so exhausted from 4 1/2 hours of pushing and I started to get Charlie Horses in my neck and upper back and the pain was excruciating. So the doctor used the vacuum once and Van came down very far but wasn't out. They did it a second time and he came down farther but wasn't out. This is the point where they were planning on pushing him back up and doing a C-Section. But as the doctor felt Van he discovered that the umbilical chord was wrapped around his neck twice and if he pushed him back up he would strangle him. So he had to use the vacuum a 3rd time.

The reason why they generally do not use the vacuum 3 times is because of the amount of pressure it puts on the baby's head. But we didn't have a choice, they had to use it a third time or we could lose Van.

The third time was the charm and Van came out. He was 7 pounds 11 ounces and 21.25 inches long. He was born extremely alert and after they cleaned him up and gave him to me I gave him a bottle and he was a champ and ate the whole thing and even gave me a burp (which surprised me since he and I were both completely new at this). He barely cried and was just happy to be there. He did have a bit of a cone head but the NICU nurses checked him out and said he looked fine. Jesse and I then spent time alone with him for about an hour and then they took him to the nursery for his first bath and so Jesse and I could sleep after 22 hours of labor and 4 1/2 hours of pushing.

I fell asleep and I guess a few minutes after the nurse from the nursery came and got Jesse and informed him that Van's head was swelling at an extremely rapid rate and that they had called Van's doctor to come to the hospital right away and they were taking Van down to the NICU. After I had been sleeping for about an hour I was awoken by my doctor (Dr. Nelson) who is also Van's doctor. I was completely shocked to see him since he wasn't supposed to see Van until his 2 week checkup. Dr. Nelson has been my doctor for 10 years and he and I know each other very well. He has helped me through some scary health things in the past, but I had never seen him look the way he did when he woke me up. He told me that Van was in the NICU and that Jesse was with him. He explained a little of what was going on with Van and I said that I didn't think I could see Van in the NICU. I just didn't think I could handle it. And Dr. Nelson very seriously said, "You need to go down there Chelsea. This is very serious." So they wheeled me down to the NICU where the Neonatologist came over to Jesse and I and said "There are 3 scenarios. First, his brain is causing the swelling and he will probably die. Second, he has a bleed from blood vessels rupturing between his skull and his skin and if his blood doesn't clot fast enough he can bleed out and die. Or third he has the same scenario as number two, but if he clots fast enough he will probably make it but might have some developmental problems."

So for the next hour Jesse and I sat in the corner of the NICU and watched dozens of people running around poking and prodding our new baby boy. I cannot explain the despair that we felt during that time. Hours earlier had been the happiest moments of our life and now our precious boy might be taken from us. We cried and prayed and cried some more.

After that hour they told us they needed us to leave the room and if they needed us to donate blood to him or if they needed to give him clotting medication they would call us in our room. Those several hours in our room were spent crying and sitting in silent prayer.

After about 10 hours they finally let us go down and see him. He was extremely sedated and his head was so swollen it was heartbreaking to see. I felt such guilt that I didn't know more and didn't force them to give me a C-Section earlier. I had to keep reminding myself of the blessing I got right before Van was born that said he could not come out via C-Section. But it was still so hard to see him suffering and not be able to take it all from him. We didn't get to hold him or touch him, but Jesse and I sat in there for a few hours and Jesse gave him a blessing and we had our first family prayer together.

I also need to mention that at this time both of our families were fasting and praying for Van. Many of Jesse's work friends fasted as well. And I am sure many more people prayed and fasted on our behalf than we even know about. We felt that support and it was the only thing keeping us together.

That night they told us the best thing we could do was sleep and if Van took a turn for the worse they would come get us. They didn't get us all night and in the morning when we went down to the NICU they told us they were confident that the swelling was not his brain, but that it was blood vessels which had burst from the use of the vacuum 3 times. They said his blood was clotting extremely well and they didn't know how he was doing so well. That is the first time I got to hold him since the moment after he was born and I cannot explain the complete bliss I felt to have my baby in my arms.

At that time they told us they expected him to be in the NICU for the next 6 days. The swelling stopped growing and they also said they were confident that he wouldn't have any brain damage. I was released from the hospital on Monday afternoon. We went and visited him that night and then again the next morning (which was Tuesday and they told us the earliest he would leave would be Friday). When we walked in they asked us if we wanted to listen in on rounds and hear the update on Van. As we sat in rounds and they talked about Van the news was all amazing. The Neonatologist who had been caring for Van 24/7 for the last 4 days turned to Jesse and I with tears in his eyes and said, "We see a lot of miracles down here, but this is one of the most drastic I have seen. I have no idea how I am saying this to you today, but you can take your son home. He is healthy and has exceeded all of our expectations." Jesse and I were excited and scared to death. Van still had headaches and swelling but they spent hours telling us how to care for him and as we left the hospital that afternoon the nurses lined up and clapped for us as we walked out. Some of them cried right along with us. And we were so blessed to have so many amazing nurses and doctors caring for our sweet Van. We were so blessed to be at IMC (Intermountain Medical Center) in Murray where they had such an excellent NICU so he didn't have to be Life-Flighted anywhere, and we were so blessed that our sweet Van had NO lasting effects. He is a normal baby who has changed our lives for the better and has already taught us so much. We love him and can never express how grateful we are for the miracles that our little family received. Here are some pictures of our adorable Vanner Man:

My first time holding him after he was in the NICU (2 days old)

I love him in this Pooh Bear hat! (2 weeks old)

First time in the Bumbo...at 8 weeks old.

It's a Mad, Mad World...

Well it's just a mad, mad world, isn't it?

Little did I know when I wrote that last post (which was really depressing...sorry about that) that I was 4 days pregnant.

Jesse and I have tried to get pregnant for 4 years and obviously hadn't been having much luck.

We were going to start the adoption process in the next year or so. I wasn't too stressed about it. I just wanted to get the Graves Disease taken care of and then we'd get the ball rolling on having a baby.

When I found out I was pregnant I was overwhelmed. I read up on babies born to mothers with un-treated Graves Disease and the odds of my little babe being born with Graves Disease was extremely high. I just felt so guilty that I was going to make this innocent little baby go through so much. But Jesse gave me a blessing and it said that this baby was coming when it was supposed to and that it would have extra protection in my belly. And that everything would be fine. So when I think about it too much or start feeling guilty I just re-read my journal entry from the night Jesse gave me the blessing and the anxiety is lessened.

Since then, we have found out that we are having a boy! And he is growing healthy and strong. And everything looks "normal" as far as they can tell. I can't tell you what a relief it all is.

I am 24 weeks and I am still sicker than a dog. But I don't care as long as this little boy continues to grow healthy and strong. I will go through whatever I have to if it means he can have a healthy and strong body. I pray every day that he will.

I am still scared to death to be a mom, and I don't know if I'll ever be ready, but I am so grateful that I am pregnant and that the Lord has blessed me with so much!

A sad day...

Today is a sad day. It's not the end of the world. And I am grateful that I do not have thyroid cancer, but today I had some scary news confirmed.

I have Graves Disease.

And I think they couldn't have given the disease a scarier name.

I will see an Endocrinologist in 2 weeks and we will decide whether to do radioactive treatments to pretty much kill my thyroid or if we should completely remove it.

To be completely honest I would rather get the stupid thing out so that the worst parts of this incurable auto-immune disease would be stopped in their tracks, but we shall see what he has to say.

But for today I am going to cry a bit and let myself feel sorry for this crap that has been put on my plate.

And tomorrow I will move on and be positive.

Overwhelmed...

Today I had to wait 2 hours to find out if I had Thyroid cancer. Those were some of the worst 2 hours of my life.

After waiting those 2 hours I went into my Doctor's office and he said he is "extremely confident" that I do not have cancer. I can't tell you the overwhelming joy I felt when those words came out of his mouth.

I am going in for a thyroid ultra-sound in an hour to see if there are any growths on my thyroid. They believe it is shutting down. My sister Marissa had half of her thyroid removed a few years ago and has had no problems since, so let's hope I am in the same boat as her.

I just had to post and say how grateful I am. Some days are extremely hard and I have been pretty sick lately, but I am so grateful that my illnesses are not going to make me leave this earth anytime soon. I am also grateful for my amazing boss, my amazing husband (who changed his flight to come home early from a work trip as soon as I called him and told him that I might have cancer...he is ALWAYS so good to me, but it's times like this that I am reminded of his devotion to me...and of mine to him), for my Megs...she takes more stress & pain from me than I probably even know...and for my cute Mom who has the busiest life & doesn't have a moment for herself, but she is always willing to drop ANYTHING to be by my side.

I am overwhelmed and grateful.

Crohn's Disease Article

My mom sent this article to me and it made me cry. The way the lady in the article explains the way Crohn's controls her life is exactly how I feel and it was nice to hear someone else take the words right out of my mouth.

I also appreciate that there are doctors out there searching for the cause of Crohn's so they can help cure it so that people like me can live life more fully without wondering when the next flare up will be and how long it will last. I am so grateful that I live in this day and time when I can get the help I need and continue to have hope. I am also very grateful that none of my cousins, siblings, parents, or aunts and uncles have this disease as far as we know (the article talks about one family in which several cousins have the disease and I hope my family continues to not share in this statistic).

If any of you haven't heard my Crohn's story and want to know more I am always willing to talk about it. Leave me a comment if you have questions or if you want to hear more. I am not going to write it all down here unless I feel like people would actually want to hear it.

Thanks for listening to me...

Here's the article from the Deseret News:

Discovery of 'hitchhiking' gene at University of Utah could bring scientists one step closer to defeating Crohn's disease

SALT LAKE CITY — It began with a stomach ache when Charlotte Shragge was in her 20s.

At the time, she thought it was due to the poor diet of a typical college student. But then it got worse.

"I started getting sick and having a lot of digestive issues," she said. "It got to the point that I didn't even go out in public, it was so debilitating. I really didn't feel safe leaving home and not knowing where I could find the next restroom."

Her parents took her to a doctor and she was ultimately diagnosed with Crohn's disease, a debilitating and painful chronic bowel disorder that affects an estimated 700,000 people in the United States.

Scientists believe there is a genetic link to the disease, but finding a cure remains elusive because its cause is thought to be linked to as many as 70 different genes. One Utah doctor believes his research may bring scientists one small step closer to reaching a better understanding of the causes of Crohn's, and hopefully closer to a cure.

Now 37, Shragge treats her disease with a variety of drugs, monitoring her stress, and staying away from certain foods when she has a flareup. Still, drugs lose their effectiveness over time and she must be re-evaluated for new ones. Flareups can come on suddenly and can last anywhere from a week to as long as four months.

"Having a chronic disease can be a bit of a roller coaster. I've had long periods of feeling great and I've had other periods of feeling just downright ill, and wondering what the next step is," Shragge said. It's not uncommon for body fatigue and joint pain to settle in as well.

"We've looked at Crohn's disease recurrence in families," said Dr. Stephen Guthery, an associate professor of pediatrics at the University of Utah who also treats Crohn's patients at Primary Children's Medical Center. Guthery said the link among family members is evidence of a genetic risk for Crohn's.

Shragge said after being diagnosed she discovered she had several cousins who also had the condition. She said she recently lost a cousin who suffered from chronic ulcerative colitis and succumbed to colon cancer. She said she wanted to share her story in order to spread awareness.

"It's not something that I'm going to hide or be ashamed of," she said.

There are genetic risk factors for a variety of diseases, such as heart disease or obesity. Guthery said with Crohn's there are believed to be around 70 identified genetic risk factors, making it an extremely complex condition to understand.

Taking samples of 100 Utah Crohn's patients, as part of over 1,800 patients across the country and in Russia, Guthery and his group traced protein levels to their genetic origins. What they found was a history that went back as far as the first humans to grow domesticated crops. In a study published this month in the British journal Molecular Biology and Evolution, Guthery and a team of other researchers traced the early origins of a key digestive gene. What they found was that genetic mutations that allowed early humans to better digest domestic crops had a "hitchhiker" gene that contributes to Crohn's.

"Our work suggests that one genetic mutation in this region became common in Europeans because it was beneficial, and that neighboring disease-causing genetic changes hitchhiked and became more common," Guthery said.

The story actually goes back further to the Fertile Crescent area, which is now parts of Iraq, Iran and Israel. Early crops, such as lentils, peas, wheat and barley, were low in the amino acid ergothioneine and humans genetically adapted to better digest the food. However, other mutations also took place.
"In this case, we think an adaptation to a transient change in diet around 12,000 years ago resulted in a genetic predisposition of Crohn's disease that is present in about half of all Europeans today," said Chad Huff, the study's lead author and human genetics research fellow at the U.

"We feel that we're getting closer," Guthery said.

Meanwhile, people like Shragge manage their condition with drugs, diet and exercise. Shragge admits that one of her favorite foods is Mexican. When her condition is dormant, she can handle it just fine, but it's always taking a chance.

"It really is kind of like playing Russian roulette," she said.

I am looking forward to:

For those of you that don't know, I am going to be in The Wizard of Oz at The Grand Theater in Salt Lake City. I am so excited to be in a show again. The Wizard of Oz isn't my favorite musical in the whole world, but it will be fun none-the-less. I can't wait to sing and dance and act again. It is so nice to pretend to be someone else for a while and I can't wait for rehearsals to start. I am sure I will be tired and sometimes I will wonder why in the heck I signed up for it, but I am so excited for all of the fun things that come along with being in a show!

Random Allergic Reaction...

A week ago I got back from lunch and while I worked at my desk I felt my lip begin to swell a little bit. For those of you who know me, you might know that sometimes my lips swell when my Crohn's is flaring up, but when it happens it only happens to my bottom lip.

The swelling last week was to my top lip. It felt hot and itchy, but I took one Benadryl and thought that would take care of it.

3 hours later I was pretty uncomfortable, but I figured it would just go away.

I went to our Young Women's activity in which we were going to weed one of our neighbor's yards since she recently had knee surgery and couldn't kneel down and pull weeds. While at the activity my throat felt like it was swelling up, but again, I tried to put it out of my mind.

Soon it was bad enough that I excused myself from the activity and headed home. I took 2 Benadryl tablets and 30 minutes later my lip was so swollen that it had several blood blisters underneath the skin and I couldn't swallow.

Jesse was with the Scouts swimming so I couldn't get a hold of him to see if he thought I should head into the E.R.

I didn't call Meg yet because I knew she would tell me to go right away and I needed a calm person to tell me what to do (I appreciate that Meg is so protective, but I didn't want to spend money on the E.R. if I didn't have to)...so I called my sweet friend Tara who is a nurse and told her what was going on. She was home with her kids and she said, "I am coming over right now. You can't be alone. You need to go to the E.R. and I will come be with you until you go just in case." I got emotional of course (I am emotional in general...I know, surprise, surprise, but I get really emotional when I don't feel well and people are sweet to me).

I told her not to worry since it was so late and that I would walk over to my neighbor's house and be with them until I could get a hold of Jesse. And so I walked over to the Seethalers. They happened to be outside and as soon as Manon saw me she stopped what she was doing and said she wanted to take me to the E.R.

We called Meg and Jesse and told them which E.R. I was headed to and we were off.

Manon and I are great friends, but we are SO different. The whole car ride I was a little on edge, but Manon helped me feel like everything was going to be OK. She kept my mind occupied and helped me laugh a bit, which I appreciated more than she will ever know.

We got to the E.R. and they took me back right away. The nurse who took care of me that night was so much fun. I appreciate it when I get medical professionals that are not tight-laced. I am so dramatic that I need the people around me to be at ease and to understand that I am making jokes because I am scared to death. Anyway, the nurse and the doctor were both so sweet to me the whole night and took such good care of me.

This is getting long, so I will try and sum up the rest of it....

They gave me an Epi shot and some other meds through an I.V. After the pain subsided a bit and I could breath easier I looked down and noticed that my feet were SO DIRTY. They were BLACK. I didn't realize that when I was weeding in flip-flops my feet had been covered in dirt. As soon as I saw it I said, "Look at my feet! They look horrible" and Manon started laughing. The doctor said he thought I probably had a shopping cart outside because I looked like a homeless person. It was a funny distraction and when Meg walked in I asked her to wash them for me (Manon would've done it if I asked but I was too embarrassed to ask her to do it).

As I stated before, I am extremely emotional when I am sick and seeing Meg wash my feet made me get choked up. It just reminded me of Christ. And it was so sweet to sit in a room with one of my best friends, my twin, and my husband and realize how blessed I am. I am so grateful that I have so many people around me who serve me continually. I do have random crap happen to me, but I am one of the luckiest people in the world and I appreciate the abundant blessings the Lord gives to me.

Sometimes I recognize these things at the oddest times, but it made the night so much easier when I sat back and realized how fortunate I am.

To close, I am feeling better. I felt funny for a few days and sometimes I had a hard time breathing and swallowing...and I looked like I had been punched in the face 50 times for about 2 days but it has gone away now and I am planning on never having a random allergic reaction again!

Thanks for listening peeps...and thanks to Tara, Manon, Meg and Jesse for taking such good care of me!

Sweet Tara (Tara...I stole this off your blog...)

Fabulous Manon...(and her hubby Jake...who was sweet enough to put the kids to bed while Manon sat with me in the E.R. for 5 hours)

And you know these kids...they are the center of my world...

Another "Grateful" Post...

I feel like posting some random pictures. For some reason I started looking at the random pictures that are saved on my work computer and some made me laugh so I decided to post some...and they are in no particular order.

Along with some pictures I thought I would list some things that I am grateful for....because I am in a horrible mood today and need to pull myself out of it...

1. Meg. I know, I know, anyone who reads this blog knows that I am grateful for Meg but I am saying it again. She knows me through and through and loves me for all of my faults and all of my strengths. She makes me laugh harder than anyone else can and sometimes we are in the middle of a store and we are laughing so hard we are on the floor and people must think we are crazy...and I don't care if they do. I LOVE laughing with her and I appreciate how much of my burdens that she shoulders with me. She is so strong and I wouldn't be able to function without her.

2. Jesse. Again, I talk about being grateful for him too, but he is so good to me. He is so patient and understanding. He and I are so different, but he balances me out in a way that I have never had from any relationship before. He tries to understand my dramatic-self and I try to understand his worry-free-self. We have learned so much together and I am so grateful that he is so patient with me.

3. Young Women's. I have the best calling in the world. I have always loved Young Women's and am so grateful that I work with such amazing women and that I get to hang out with some of the sweetest and strongest girls I have ever known. They listen to me teach every week and they love me anyway, even when I don't have all of the answers or teach a lesson that probably isn't very informative or entertaining. I am trying to be better and be a good teacher and a good listener and they are so good at being patient with me.

4. Patience. I have used that word several times in this post already and I am so grateful for the patient people in my life. I am not a patient person. I never have been. But I am grateful that I am surrounded by people who have been blessed with this amazing attribute and who use said attribute when dealing with me. I am one lucky duck....in so many ways.

Life is good. June was a long month for me and I am so glad it's almost over. Yea for July! Fireworks, paid-holidays, and BBQ!

And now...randomness....

(Jesse, me...and a chicken...I was thrilled to be holding it...as you can see...and my hair's all messed up...I was not prepared for Jesse to hand this chicken to me and to have someone take our picture...)


(Meg, Ford, and Me at her wedding...this chick is about to have twin girls...yep...2 more Chelsea & Megan's running around this earth...get ready world :)


(I love Jesse's face as he pushed me off that huge tree. It really was SO high up. I tried it once and swore I'd never do it again. But I tried it again last summer and it re-affirmed the fact that I do NOT like jumping off things)

(Our wedding day...I loved every minute of it!)

(DISNEYLAND!!!!)

The end.

Words that must go...

Just some ramblings by me, myself, and I.

Some words/things that must go:

-Thread (i.e. "I can't 'thread' the vein"...I am getting woosie just thinking about it)
-Laceration (man that makes my skin crawl)
-Effaced (I don't even want to know what the complete definition of that word is...)
-Having a hair in my mouth (it reminds me of that time I ate the Barbie hair...if you know that story you are probably laughing right now, and I am dry heaving) -De-glove (thanks to Meg for teaching me that one...yick...)

That's all I can think of for now.

What are some words/things/phrases that make you sick?

I know, I know, I am an odd duck...but you probably have random words that make you sick too...you know you do...

Man Up Chelsea...

I know, I know, I need to blog more. I have a hard time blogging when I don't have anything fun going on in my life, and right now my life is pretty dull. Don't get me wrong, I'd rather have dull than have another ambulance story or something, but still, dull....

The point of this post is to say how much I love my physical therapist. Her name is Erinlee Boden and she works at Utah Physical Therapy Specialists. I have been going to see her twice a week for the last 4 months.

For those of you who have never been to physical therapy you should know it's not a walk in the park. They find the weakest parts of your body and make you do the weirdest exercises to build strength in the counter-muscles. Anyway, it's hard...to say the least. I have been to physical therapy several times in my life (I am not planning on ever going again, because getting hit from behind 3 times is enough for one lifetime...I have decided and so it shall be). Anyway...I have had some good physical therapists and I have had some GREAT physical therapists and Erinlee is one of the GREATS.

She reminds me of a mix of two of my favorite people in the whole world so I felt comfortable with her right off the bat. She is also hilarious and I appreciate a person who can really make me laugh. Over the last few months she has been there with me on some of the worst days I've had and has helped me reach some great milestones too. Last week she told me that we would only have one more appointment together and then she couldn't do any more for me. I had known that day was coming and I dreaded hearing it. I was relieved because I would have more time on my hands after work and because it meant that I didn't have to get beat-up multiple times each week, but I was more upset than I was relieved. Whenever physical therapy is over I get emotional. I just appreciate the amazing people in my life who have helped me heal. I am not back to my old self, and we don't know that I ever will be, but she has worked so hard with me and for me and I appreciate it more than she can ever know.

On my last day with her I brought my twin sister with me for support (since I'm a big baby...hence the title of this post "Man Up Chelsea". I really need to get over this emotional side of my personality...sheesh) and I also brought Erinlee my favorite treat. What better way to thank someone than by bringing them Cakebites from The Sweet Tooth Fairy?!

So that's what I did. I brought her some Red Velvet Cakebites and I thanked her for her help and went on my way. I just wanted to post and say how grateful I am for her and for the staff at Utah Physical Therapy Specialists. And I am also grateful that the reckless driver that hit me had insurance. That is another great blessing. I have learned so much over these last few months and Erinlee has given me a lot of tools to take care of myself and continue to build strength at home. Thanks again for listening...if anyone out there is actually reading this :)

Twins & Tigers

I know it's a little late, but I thought I better write about one of the best days of my life while I still remember all of the details of the day. First let's start by saying that this day was an absolute dream come true for me and Meg. We got to meet baby white tigers! No joke! They were about 3 months old when we met them. They were twin babies, a boy (Titan) and a girl (Athena). They were magnificent and fun and awe-inspiring. I couldn't believe that we were in the presence of such great animals. Meg and my sweet step-dad Tim gave us this meeting as our Christmas present. Sufficeth to say it was the best present ever!

We got to feed them bottles, clean them up after said bottles, and play with them for an hour.

**Side note: Some of these pictures are a little blurry...these kitties moved A LOT so I tried my best**

(Meg & Titan meeting for the first time)

(Me & Athena getting acquainted)

(Me & Titan getting to know each other)

(Me showing the babies that I am ready to play...don't worry, they weren't hurting me at all...they were so sweet!)

Titan waiting for his bottle...

Meg cleaning Titan up after he "drank" his bottle. (He really just played games with Meg and got the goats milk EVERYWHERE)

It was an amazing day and it was so hard to walk out the door when our hour of play time was up. Thanks McTimmy (my Step-dad) for making Meg & my dreams come true!

I'm Alive...I promise!

I figured I should probably get on this blog and let everyone know I'm alive. A lot of people who read my blog (not that "a lot" of people read my blog...well, who knows really?) also read my Twin Meg's blog. And her last post was about my car accident. I think I will blog about the whole experience in a few days. It's still a little raw for me to talk about, and yes, I am still hurting, but every day it gets a little better and the emotions of it all are finally settling down a bit.

But, I wanted to let anyone who is wondering know that I am certainly alive and I am getting better. Thanks for the thoughts, notes, and prayers. I have felt so much love over the last 10 days and I appreciate it more than anyone can know.

Anyway, I will write more later, and it will be positive. I swear!

Grumpy Goose...

I have been in a horrible mood for about a week. Some people might say longer.

I just need to get this all off my chest.

I am a grumpy goose. And I wish I could get over it. But I just can't seem to get out of this funk I am in...stupid me being in a stupid mood...

For historical purposes I would like to state what my last month has been like:

-I had a horrid kidney infection. For 3 days I had a fever of over 100 degrees that wouldn't break. It finally did. And I finally got a CT Scan which revealed a kidney stone in addition to the infection. It's still in my kidney though, so that will be a nice surprise when it decides to make it's presence known...

-I have been sicker than a dog. My Crohn's just thinks it can run my life. And at the moment it is. But I will conquer it again one day...I will, I swear

-It has been hot. I am not a fan of Summer. I can't wait for Fall and the crisp air...and then snow...snow is my favorite thing in the whole world...it makes me feel all peaceful and warm inside. And not warm as in it's 100 degrees outside so you can't sleep at night because you are a sweaty mess...that is not the "warm" I am talking about...

On a different note there have been a couple of good things happening as of late. First of all, we bought a new car. The car shopping experience was not fun...and I am not a fan of car salesman (I know, who is?) but we finally decided on this little beauty:

It is brand-spankin' new and I LOVE it. It's a Scion xD. We personalized the entire car and it only had 25 miles on it when we picked it up...oh, and our actual car has a bigger Spoiler than this picture...I like Spoilers and have never had one on my car, so I splurged :)

Also, Jesse's sister and her family are here from Germany. Her hubby, Lee, is in the Air Force and thus they move from place to place and I never get to see them...neither does anyone else for that matter, but this is my blog, so I shall state that "I" never get to see them. I love my Wilstead's and I wish I could see them more...they are headed to Spain for the next 11 months and then after that who knows...hopefully they will move to the States so we can visit them.

Thanks for listening to me peeps. My next post shall be about one of the greatest nights of my life...the night that Meg and I met the Barenaked Ladies...man was that amazing...so the next time you hear from me it shall be a positive post with fun pictures, I promise!

My Friend, Facebook...

Dear Facebook,
I know I haven't been a faithful follower lately, but I used to be addicted to you. I decided that I should let you know that I'm still here, but my reasons for logging on have changed.

I am no longer looking to find old friends. I just like to spy on people. That's right, spy. I don't like to look at stranger's profiles or anything, I just like to look at people's pictures that I used to know and who I am not in touch with anymore. Some of them I like, some of them I don't. But I surely appreciate that I can look into these people's lives and decide if getting re-acquainted is a good idea or not. And usually, just looking at their pictures is enough. And I like that.

So thank you, Facebook. For helping me find closure in some cases...and on certain days when I really need it you help me laugh when I find out that I'm not the only one who's gained 20 pounds since high school :) Good work Facebook. Good work.

Alright, already...

I know, I know, I haven't written anything in a LONG time. But I am just following the ol' saying "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."

Now I don't mean that I have un-nice things to say. I mean, I don't have anyone to rip on or anything (might I add that I love people, in general. So hopefully anyone out there who's reading this doesn't think that I would rip on someone, especially in writing :)...but, I don't really have anything really interesting to talk about. And I have been sicker than a dog. Yep. That's right. I guess people have been frustrated lately that I don't tell them when I'm sick and when I need something. Well, here we go...I am sick. Sick, sick, sick. No, I don't need anything. But I did tell my sweet brother the other day that what I could really use is some slack. If I am not my talkative-self, please forgive me. If I see you out and about and I don't look too happy to see you please don't take it personally. At the moment I can't handle much. Even the slightest thing puts me over the edge...I even get overwhelmed when my phone rings...

Anyway, that's enough of that. The point of that whole last paragraph was to let you know (does anyone even read this blog?) that I haven't been posting because I can't think of anything of note to say. But, I was reading my cute friend Julie's blog and she had her "Crazy 8's" posted so I thought, "There's something I can do." So here we go:

CRAZY 8's

8 TV Shows I Love To Watch:
1. Better Off Ted
2. The Bachelor/Bachelorette (I always tell myself at the beginning of the season to remember that it's not a big deal who the person chooses in the end, but I always end up caring...sad, I know, but true...)
3. Glee
4. Community
5. Parks and Recreation
6. The Deep End
7. Big Bang Theory
8. The Office


8 Favorite Restaurants:
1. Zupas
2. Jamba Juice
3. Mikado
4. Blue Fish
5. Winger's (but only because I go there with my favorite people...you know who you are...)
6. Mimi's
7. 5 Guys Burgers and Fries
8. Hire's Big H


8 Things That Happened Yesterday:
1. Work
2. Pharmacy
3. Ate :)
4. Played Majong
5. Watched "Better Off Ted"
6. Watched "Glee"
7. Did the dishes
8. Slept!!!


8 Things I'm Looking Forward To:
1. The Wilstead's coming here for the Summer!
2. Leaving work :)
3. Eating the cake-bites my cute Mom brought me from The Sweet Tooth Fairy. She's so good to me!
4. Deciding which pictures to put up in the new picture frames in my room
5. Hanging out with Meg...
6. Hanging out with Jesse...
7. Seeing Toy Story 3!
8. Sleeping...


8 Things On My Wish List:
1. Get feeling better!
2. Get cast in another show...I need something to distract me...
3. Sleep
4. Sleep
5. Sleep
6. Go to Disneyland (I know, I know, that's the story of my life, but I really need to go again soon!)

7. Lose a few pounds...again, that's the story of my life...

8. Get a puppy!

8 People I Tag:

1. Amy

2. Meg

3. Andee

4. Liz

5. Ford

6. April

7. Becky

8. Stephanie

Thanks for listening peeps! I hope everyone/anyone who reads this are doing well!

Belated Birthday Post 2010

My birthday was over a month ago, but today was just one of those bad days, and I need something happy to bring me out of this blah mood, and what better to do that than to reminisce about a birthday weekend with my best friend Meg in DISNEYLAND?!

So, our birthday is on Valentine's Day. It happened to be on a Sunday this year, so we decided that we would fly out on Friday night after work, have a few hours to play in the park, sleep at our hotel across the street, play all day Saturday, play all day Sunday, and then fly back Monday morning (which happened to be President's Day, so we both had the day off work). It was the perfect plan. And we were very excited for our trip.

We got to the airport at 2:30. Our plane was to leave at 4:30.

We got to our gate at 3:30, and about 30 minutes later we were informed that our flight was delayed. For 4 hours.

Meg and I both have horrible anxiety about flying, so we had both taken a Xanax when we got to the airport (before we knew about the delay). The brunt of the calmness that comes with Xanax was wasted on the hours spent in the airport. But we laughed the whole time and it didn't even matter that we weren't going to Disneyland that night. Because hanging out with Meg is a vacation in and of itself in my opinion.

(Here we are a few hours into our delay...sitting on the airport floor....)

(Meg being a punk)

(Here I am laughing about the fact that my straw was cardboard...it tainted the taste of my wonderful hot chocolate...oh, and we were laughing about the drunk man next to us. He was talking jibberish)
(I was sad once I was about half way through my hot chocolate because my cardboard straw was soggy...sick...really, who thought of a cardboard straw? It was a horrible idea.)

(We finally made it to the park the next morning! Woohoo!!!!)
(Here's Meg being the nut-job that she is in line for Small World)

(More Meg...waiting in line at Pirates, one of our favorite rides...but everyone loves it, right?!)
(Here we are with Minnie!!!!)

(Here I am in Bell's library)

(We were leaving the park when we took this picture...we were very crazed and tired :)
(Here we are at Chip & Dale's Country Critter Breakfast on the morning of our Birthday. This was my favorite part of the trip!)

(Meg & Dale seeing each other for the first time...)
(Dale giving Meg a birthday kiss. I love her facial expression!)
(Waiting in line for the Alice In Wonderland ride...not my favorite ride, but still a necessity when you go to Disneyland)
(And finally, just for the heck of it, here is our Birthday dinner spread at my Mom's house...she is always so good to us. Thanks cutest Mom for making life a party!)
(And finally, here we are blowing out the candles. I wonder how often Meg & I wish for the EXACT same thing...we can't talk about it, of course, because then it wouldn't come true ;) but I bet it happens a lot...)